Two paragraphs from my novel The Real Raquel

Maybe Raquel and I share more than looks, I thought, and when the chorus finally hit in all its authoritative glory, my nervousness turned into something more like adrenaline, and I was able to fall flawlessly into a circular formation with the dancers, whisper-singing little snatches of Raquel’s defiant manifesto to each one of them as they cycled around me. “I’m the Real Raquel. Oh, I’m the Real Raquel,” I declared to the dancer with blonde highlights before turning to a slim male dancer with messy blue hair —“I’m not a chameleon, but if I was, I’d never tell…” The noise of the crowd spiked at this line, which didn’t surprise me. I lipped it with particular conviction because it sums up Raquel better than any other lyric in her catalogue: she’s as real as they come, exuding the kind of authenticity and feistiness that focus group-tested pop stars can never hope to achieve, but at the same time she maintains a certain element of mystery, a thoroughly sexy and effortless elusiveness, giving you the sense that there’s always a piece of the puzzle missing, always something to study and be fascinated by.

I don’t want to downplay the discipline and years of practice needed to pull off a good performance but I think I passed a crucial test when I first grabbed the mic and dared to whisper-sing words that were rightfully Raquel’s. I say this because as the song went into the second verse and Raquel, her voice losing some of its bravado and displaying more tenderness and vulnerability, sang, “Baby I won’t compromise myself,” the oppressive weight of my nerves lifted entirely. I felt a kind of synergy between my body and the lyrics booming out over the field and when Raquel sang, “If you don’t love me I’ll find somebody else. Somebody who wants to know the truth,” I gracefully lunged forward as if asserting the truth of my own existence through physical movement. This is the real Raquel, I was saying to the audience. You can take it or leave it but it is a truth I will express unapologetically. Then I fell back into formation and looked sideways at some of the dancers. They were somewhat disoriented by the small liberty I had taken but this didn’t bother me. In fact, it was downright satisfying that I had went off script, especially considering the audience’s reaction. They gave me their loudest round of applause yet and this confirmed to me that while Raquel’s mystique lures people in, it’s her honesty that makes them stay.